It's Time!
Senior Moments is a series of reflections and lessons learned from my life. My hope is that it prompts you to reflect upon your own experiences. What stories do you want to share with your family?
I have a wonderful portfolio of friends and consider myself very blessed. They are truly the family I created for myself. A few weeks ago, I spent an afternoon with one of those friends (you’ll know who you are when you read this).
Whenever we get together, we cover a lot of territory. This afternoon (5+ hours) was no different. As is typical, I have no idea how we started talking about this—but I quickly realized it was fodder for this article.
Both of us are in our 70s. My friend commented about a few things she has wanted to do for a long time, but has yet to do them. She shared a short list of things; and although a few would take a serious commitment, others (to me) seemed fairly easy to accomplish—if you really wanted to. Our conversation then took a turn to thinking about what we want to do in this last chapter of our lives.
As she left (only because she had to pick up a grandchild), we both agreed to think about our Bucket Lists. As a Certified Life Coach (did you know that?) I had a few suggestions to help her get started which I share below with some additional thoughts.
A few days later, I made intentional time to think about my own Bucket List. What surprised me is that although unexpected opportunities/things come up that I want to do/go, I’m happy that my Bucket has been fulfilled.
Back in the 80s, I attended a professional development training where I not only learned the mechanics of goal setting, but the attitudes and behaviors required to achieve them. I realized how that program influenced my approach to creating a Bucket List and achieving those items.
This List includes items you want to do or see in the remainder of your lifetime. For me, it’s items that keep bubbling up in your heart and mind.
If you are my typical reader, you are probably in the last quarter of your life. What do you still have in your Bucket List?
If not now, then when?
My hope is that you take this invitation to take an inventory of your Bucket List and take action.
Take a few minutes to develop your list. Aim to come up with at least 5 items. Keep your list visible and challenge yourself to get another 5.
Write down anything that comes to your mind that you would like to own, do, or see. You may hesitate writing it down because “it could never happen.” Write it down anyway.
Take time to ponder why you want each item. Consider prioritizing them in some way. One way might be to use a 1 = Very Important … up to 5 = Nice to do/have, not that important. Not to be dramatic, but what would you regret not “going for it” on your death bed?
Is it within the realm of possibility? Some “valid” limitations might revolve around available financial resources, health, and family impact. But we often have false assumptions and give up too quickly! Don’t (continue) to do this!
I thought about a recent example on how I handled something in my Bucket (and may be one of my last items). I hope by sharing my process might help you with yours.
You may remember that these articles are a result of the autobiography I wrote for my children. As I was writing one of the pages, I found myself writing “…but I haven’t given up the hope that I will have a piano someday…” I quickly realized what I was writing. Yup—it was a Bucket List item. It hit me that given that I am almost 80, I knew I had to (at least) explore making it happen.
Back Story.
I started playing the piano when I was five and music has played an integral part of my life. While my children were young and many years after, I didn’t have a piano. But in 2002, I got a company bonus and decided to buy myself a baby grand piano. And yes, it had been on my Dream List back from the 80s. (After all that time without a piano, I had to re-learn how to play, but eventually, was pleased with my progress.)
Several years later, before I moved back to Rochester to a small home, I sold my piano to a friend of mine (yes, I was sad). Since my move in 2016, I once again became piano-less.
What prevents us most often from achieving anything… is that we don’t start!
Dreams seem overwhelming because they’re harder/bigger than just buying something on Amazon.
Initial assumptions prevented me from exploring my dream. I bet you have your own assumptions about your Bucket List items!
What stopped me: Living in a one-bedroom 700 sq ft condo, I assumed it would be impossible to have another piano. Where could I possibly put a piano in my small condo? The best wall space was taken up by a lovely glass shelf where I display my collectibles. Now, I asked myself whether having a piano was more important than that shelf? Although I hadn’t been ready to get rid of that shelf before, I decided I was (finally) willing to get a small shelf that could easily fit in another area.
What is one step you could take to explore this dream? Put all your hesitations aside and take just one step. Know that at any step in the process, you can stop! Consider it as simply playing with the idea. What would it take for me to do or buy this? As you read below, notice how my initial thinking changed along the way.
My original idea was to get a used piano, so I’d have to arrange someone to move it. I did a google search and found a moving company that would move a piano. Easy. I was worried that used pianos can be almost unrepairable. I googled for a piano tuner in my area and she was willing to come with me to inspect a used piano. Great!
I couldn’t shake my worry about getting a “free” piano that turned out to be a lemon. I then decided to explore the possibility of finding a used piano from a reputable music store (with a warranty?).
Internet search again…I found a piano and organ store. Not only did they have used pianos, but also digital (electronic) pianos. I had played digital pianos years ago and I knew they could be a cost- effective option. But I ruled it out because it didn’t have a touch like a real piano. [Assumption!]
As it turns out, the technology has improved, and they now have a feel of a real piano!
After gathering required information, do I still want it? Can I make it happen?
I played a few no-frills digital piano and I knew it would be suitable. It had a “piano-like” frame and was a great size for my small condo. And it had a headphone option so I wouldn’t disturb my neighbors.
I started out planning with a modest budget to get a piano (the cost of the piano mover), but the price of this piano was 3 times as much!
Was it worth that much money to me? Although I have limited financial resources, I decided it was a worthy “investment” in enjoying the rest of my life. And another added bonus! The piano was small enough to fit in another wall in my living area and I did not have to get rid of my glass shelf.
I thought about possible ways to afford this piano. I decided the best way to finance it and one week later it was delivered. I found a way to achieve this dream!!
Like you, I could have uncovered something where I had to abort this dream entirely or figure out a plan to achieve it at some future date. Yes, it would have made me sad not to move forward, but I know I would have the satisfaction that I intentionally explored it and made an intentional decision.
So…what’s still in your Bucket?
I challenge you to make a commitment to re-read this article and stir up that Bucket of yours. I’d love to hear about what you discovered and hopefully, what you committed to doing.
Maybe because of my love for music, I often tie life moments and lessons to a song. This song feels appropriate for this article. I encourage you to listen to the whole song…but excerpts below.
I Hope You Dance
by Lee Ann Womack
“Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance... I hope you dance...
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they’re worth takin’,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance... I hope you dance.
I hope you dance... I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years
And wonder where those years have gone.)
I hope you dance... I hope you dance.
I hope you dance... I hope you dance.”
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